Still in Mourning

Hi all, I’m still here and still in mourning. My nephew was a special guy. He was a courageous young man, an avid hunter and fisher. He was kind and considerate. The memorial service was so hard for me to get through. It was beautiful and sad. My brother was broken up as well as

In Mouring

Today I’m on my way to Montana to say goodbye to my 16-year-old nephew. He was killed in a car accident. My heart and soul are broken due to this terrible tragedy. The pain is amongst unbearable. I used to watch him and his older brother in my daycare. We were very close. Please pray

Poem Saturday

A Psalm of Life by Henry Wadsworth Longfellow Tell me not, in mournful numbers,Life is but an empty dream!For the soul is dead that slumbers,And things are not what they seem. Life is real! Life is earnest!And the grave is not its goal;Dust thou art, to dust returnest,Was not spoken of the soul. Not enjoyment,

So tired

I have been struggling with poor sleep for a couple of months. I am getting about 3 hours of sleep per night. The tiredness I feel is so invasive. It has taken over my life. I think my medications are to blame. My psychiatrist encouraged me to get ECT so I am looking at that

Quote Sunday

“There is no timestamp on trauma. There isn’t a formula that you can insert yourself into to get from horror to healed. Be patient. Take up space. Let your journey be the balm.” – Dawn Serra Trauma is a tough nut to crack. Some people can heal rapidly from a traumatic event. Others, like myself,

Quote Sunday

I absolutely love this quote. I need to believe I am not invisible. I want to believe I am a survivor. What do you all think? Until next time, love and peace to you all…

Random Thought

I’ve had a lot of time this week to meditate and think. It has been so aggravating to be stuck in bed again. I hate being stuck in bed. I hate having health issues which are a result of the past trauma I have had. I have chronic migraines (every day), fibromyalgia, and intestinal issues.

New Memories

I feel like I’m in some sort of waiting game. New memories of my traumatic past. Memories I don’t want to know. I don’t get asked if I want these memories. If I did, I would say no thank you. A person’s brain is so remarkable. It can actually compartmentalize trauma and lock it away

Major Hiccup

Well I was very triggered by my last post. The day after I suddenly was dizzy, had vertigo, and could not keep anything down. I’ve been suffering with this for almost a week. I did see a doctor and was given medication to help. They do not know what is wrong and are hoping the

Memories

Memories are something that can be good or they can be bad. I have a lot of great memories from my time as a wife and mother. I really don’t have many good memories about my childhood. I can recall some memories of going on some great vacations but that’s about it. My memories from