Poem Saturday

Tell me not, in mournful numbers,Life is but an empty dream!For the soul is dead that slumbers,And things are not what they seem. Life is real! Life is earnest!And the grave is not its goal;Dust thou art, to dust returnest,Was not spoken of the soul. Not enjoyment, and not sorrow,Is our destined end or way;But

In Mouring

Today I’m on my way to Montana to say goodbye to my 16-year-old nephew. He was killed in a car accident. My heart and soul are broken due to this terrible tragedy. The pain is amongst unbearable. I used to watch him and his older brother in my daycare. We were very close. Please pray

Poem Saturday

A Psalm of Life by Henry Wadsworth Longfellow Tell me not, in mournful numbers,Life is but an empty dream!For the soul is dead that slumbers,And things are not what they seem. Life is real! Life is earnest!And the grave is not its goal;Dust thou art, to dust returnest,Was not spoken of the soul. Not enjoyment,

So tired

I have been struggling with poor sleep for a couple of months. I am getting about 3 hours of sleep per night. The tiredness I feel is so invasive. It has taken over my life. I think my medications are to blame. My psychiatrist encouraged me to get ECT so I am looking at that

Poem Saturday

 CINDY WILLIAMS GUTIÉRREZ“THE SMALL CLAIM OF BONES” what my body knowsis not a lie it’s nota lie i tell you it is notit’s nothing short of truthand nothing largermy past lodgesin my marrow and ifi wanted a transplantthere’d be no matchothers’ sorrows dwarfmy petty traumas stillthese bones are minewhen they creakwhen they moanwhen they whinethere’s

Quote Sunday

“There is no timestamp on trauma. There isn’t a formula that you can insert yourself into to get from horror to healed. Be patient. Take up space. Let your journey be the balm.” – Dawn Serra Trauma is a tough nut to crack. Some people can heal rapidly from a traumatic event. Others, like myself,

Poem Saturday

I decided during the weekends I’m going to keep it light. I had a very triggering morning due to one of the meetings I attended, which is why I’m gonna keep it light. One of my favorite poems is by Robert Frost called “The Road Not Taken.” I did not know he wrote it as

Random Thought

I’ve had a lot of time this week to meditate and think. It has been so aggravating to be stuck in bed again. I hate being stuck in bed. I hate having health issues which are a result of the past trauma I have had. I have chronic migraines (every day), fibromyalgia, and intestinal issues.

First Finding Out

I first found out about my childhood memories of abuse was the night after my 2nd sexual assault. As if the assault were not enough, I was assaulted with memories of Satanic Ritual Abuse (SRA). I first thought, “How could I have gone through this and not remember it?” I didn’t understand how I could

New Memories

I feel like I’m in some sort of waiting game. New memories of my traumatic past. Memories I don’t want to know. I don’t get asked if I want these memories. If I did, I would say no thank you. A person’s brain is so remarkable. It can actually compartmentalize trauma and lock it away