Poem Saturday

A Psalm of Life by Henry Wadsworth Longfellow Tell me not, in mournful numbers,Life is but an empty dream!For the soul is dead that slumbers,And things are not what they seem. Life is real! Life is earnest!And the grave is not its goal;Dust thou art, to dust returnest,Was not spoken of the soul. Not enjoyment,

Darkness

This image and quote is exactly how I feel most days. I look inside myself and I am scared of what I see. I have a darkness inside me due to the SRA, CSA, and being a part of a dysfunctional family. I know I need to find a way to move through the darkness

Quote Sunday

“There is no timestamp on trauma. There isn’t a formula that you can insert yourself into to get from horror to healed. Be patient. Take up space. Let your journey be the balm.” – Dawn Serra Trauma is a tough nut to crack. Some people can heal rapidly from a traumatic event. Others, like myself,

Advice I’ve Received Over The Years

This was a topic from one of my meetings. Wow what a topic. I’ve never really given much thought about advice I’ve received over the years. I want to sit and think about this for a while but now is not the time. It is time to write about it in a stream of consciousness.

Random Thought

I’ve had a lot of time this week to meditate and think. It has been so aggravating to be stuck in bed again. I hate being stuck in bed. I hate having health issues which are a result of the past trauma I have had. I have chronic migraines (every day), fibromyalgia, and intestinal issues.

First Finding Out

I first found out about my childhood memories of abuse was the night after my 2nd sexual assault. As if the assault were not enough, I was assaulted with memories of Satanic Ritual Abuse (SRA). I first thought, “How could I have gone through this and not remember it?” I didn’t understand how I could

Major Hiccup

Well I was very triggered by my last post. The day after I suddenly was dizzy, had vertigo, and could not keep anything down. I’ve been suffering with this for almost a week. I did see a doctor and was given medication to help. They do not know what is wrong and are hoping the

Memories

Memories are something that can be good or they can be bad. I have a lot of great memories from my time as a wife and mother. I really don’t have many good memories about my childhood. I can recall some memories of going on some great vacations but that’s about it. My memories from

Letter to My Selves

While I was at a trauma treatment facility there were assignments we were given to complete. It was extremely hard work. The first one I am going to share with you is the first letter I work, which was the letter to my future selves and a letter from my future selves. I say, “selves”